Celebrating our Mothers: Hilarious Lies that my mother used to tell me that I didn’t know

Mothers day: Today I celebrate my lovely mother Rose who is turning 51 late this year. She scarified a lot in her life to ensure we are who we are now.

There are some hilarious lies that I remember my mother used to tell me that I didn’t know were lies but which in one way or another shaped my life

Below are some of those lies my mother used to tell me.

1. When I refused to eat my mother would tell me: There is a jail for locking children who don’t eat
2. When I told my mother to buy me replacement batteries for my brick game she would tell me: Brick games do not have replacement batteries. Once their batteries are over they are dead
3. When I was crying my mother would tell me: That man is blind because he used to cry when he was a child. Do you also want to be blind when you grow old? Sometimes she would tell me that Satan will wake up if I continue crying
4. My mother would give me false promises: if you top in school I will buy y[irp][irp]u a car.
5. Mum where did i come from? We bought you from the hospital. At how much did you buy me mum? God hates such questions.
6. While in the supermarket I would tell my mother: Mum buy me that queen cake, she would respond: hiyo cake imetengenezwa na pili pili kali.
7. Mum I want to watch Tom and Jerry cartoon: Tom and Jerry have gone to sleep. We will switch the TV on once they wake up.
8. If you lie, you will be burned by God
9. When I refused to take a shower my mum would tell me: Mungu hapendi watoto wachafu
10. When I asked for new shoes my Mum would tell me: Those shoes are new enough to see you through another school term.

That was my mother. She fed me with so many lies that shaped my morality. Kenyayote celebrates Mothers day with you all who are reading here.

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Happy mothers day!